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Jun. 21st, 2010

Brown Owl

Writer's Block: My Dream Job

What's your dream job? Are you qualified for it? If not, would that stop you from taking it if it were offered to you?

My current dream job is to own/work in a coffee shop. It's silly, but I want it so bad. I have no idea why this is my goal.

Prior to that, I wanted to own a Japanese-style noodle shop in Sweden. My plans to move there were unexpectedly canceled, and noodle shops are a dime a dozen in the states, so that's off the table.

Prior to THAT, I wanted to design or test video games. Seeing as I have mild carpal tunnel and no skills that would help me enter the field, that's also off the table.

As for impossible, only-in-my-wildest-dreams job? Author and graphic novelist. I have stories I want to publish, and comics I want to draw, but realistically, I'd have to do that all on the side of a day job. Hopefully at a coffee shop. :D

I'm hardly qualified for any of the jobs mentioned, but I have similar-enough experience working as a server in a restaurant, so it shouldn't be too hard to make the jump to barista. In terms of owning or managing the shop, though, I have a ways to go. I am, however, moderately qualified for the wildest-dream job.

If I were offered the job(s), I would pounce on the offer like a starved wolf on a steak; I'd just make sure to work my ass off to keep the job(s).

Writer's Block: It’s the Little Things…

Do you keep track of how much money you spend on non-essential luxuries, like gourmet coffee and snacks? Are there certain little indulgences you cannot live without no matter how tight your budget?

I don't keep track of my expenses, but I really should. It's the small change spent on small things that can be one's downfall. As to an indulgence unrestricted by a tightened budget: I don't think I could go without my weekly trip to Rubio's for their Fish Taco Tuesdays. I love those tacos so.
Cave Painting

Writer's Block: Instant wish

If you could have one--and only one--wish granted in the next five minutes, what would you wish? How do you think it would improve your life?

I'd wish to be immune to/free from carpal tunnel syndrome. As an artist, I need use of my hands, and carpal tunnel syndrome impairs my abilities. I have a very mild case in my dominant hand, but it will only worsen with time. I'd like to not have to worry about that.

If it were granted, I could type, write, text, paint, draw, and really do anything, for hours without pain, numbness, and loss of strength in my hands/wrists. It would certainly improve my chances of pursuing my dreams of writing stories and illustrating my own comics.
Brown Owl

Writer's Block: A rose by any other name

Do you like your birth name? If you had the opportunity to change it, would you? What new name would you choose?

I can't stand my birth name. I would definitely change it... to Zachary. Though Shi is my more feminine option if I want to go that route.

Always, while growing up, I saw characters on TV or movies (sometimes even books) with my birth name mold to a single stereotype: Blond, preppy, athletic, tall, blue-eyed, tan. If you Google my full name (sans middle name), you come up with dozens of articles on high school sports stars who share it, with accompanying photos further illustrating my point. To a child being picked on in school (though I've come to see that it was very mild teasing compared to what others go through) it made me feel like I was somehow less. With my dark brown hair, brown eyes, short stature, and nerdy non-athleticism, I felt like I was weird and different.

Later, when I reinvented myself to get away from the meek child I used to be, I chose to name myself after a then character of mine (who was in turn based on who I wanted to be). I've gone by that nickname ever since, and feel strange when addressed by my given name.

These days, the only people who are allowed to call me by my real name are my family, customers/coworkers/bosses (since it's my legal name, it's what went on my application and was inscribed on my name tag), and teachers (again, legal name; it's what's on their rosters).

It devolves into a rant below the cut...Collapse )

Jun. 4th, 2010

John William Godward - Far Away Thoughts

Writer's Block: Top Three

What three qualities do you like most about yourself, and why? What qualities do you like least?

My most-liked qualities:
1) My creativity
2) My loyalty
3) My ability to get over most things quickly

My least-liked qualities:
1) My paranoia/trust issues
2) My sometimes-crippling shyness/social anxiety
3) My jealous resentment/competitiveness toward more successful others.

If I could tack on a fourth dislike, it would be that it was so difficult to think of three likes, but so easy to think up dislikes.

I used to like myself more. I need to get out of this semester-long funk.

Jun. 2nd, 2010


Peace: A Short Story (Originally posted on Twitter)

I haven't tweeted anything of substance lately (are ANY tweets truly of any substance?), so I posted an original created-on-the-spot short story. I thought I might post it here too, since it will be lost in the chaos of Twitter.

Story below the cutCollapse )
Head in Jar

Let's Have More Cheer

My word, that last entry was depressing! I knew I should have avoided that topic, but upon reading it, I felt I had thoughts I wanted to express. To push away the gloom, I thought I'd make a more cheerful post.

As of yesterday (there had been plans for today as well, but they seem to have fallen though), my closest friend and I have been perusing a number of thrift stores, seeking last-minute pieces for two steampunk outfits.

Now, I've already been a closet-steampunk for some time, but...Collapse )

Writer's Block: Oh no not I

How do you recover from a bad break-up? The proverbial pint of ice cream? Quality time alone? Going out with friends? What are your personal healing strategies?

I don't think I've ever really "recovered" from a bad break-up, but I've coped. I've had two in my life so far, and they left scars that will never fade away completely. One is never the same afterward.

What I've done to help the pain fade, and try to move on, is read a lot. I've found that losing myself in a story -whether it be a book, a manga, a daydream, my own stories- can ease the pain. I literally have to lose my 'self' for a while; get out of my own head, out of my own life; live a brief life through the eyes of another.

The best "cure" I've found, though, is to fall in love again. A few weeks after my first truly-bad break-up, I was struggling to learn to cope, to move on, and wound up meeting the person I've thusfar considered the love of my life, or my soulmate. I fell in love at first sight, and my love only grew as I came to know her. Eventually, after a bad hiccup in my plans to make her mine (she loved another, refused me, etc), she admitted to loving me too. Three years and an engagement later, she left me with no explanation and no chance to work on whatever the problem was. This, I have not been able to "recover" from; yes, it only happened this past January, so it's still rather fresh, but I've never felt such a loss. Again, I've used my methods of coping, and lost myself in books, manga, daydreams, even dating others. I've spent a lot more time with my best friend.

None of my methods have worked as a magic cure, but by experiencing emotion through the eyes of fictional characters in their own worlds, I've been able to patch together my heart a little. I'm sure if I met another person to share my heart with, I would return to a brighter life once more, but since I've had no luck, I'm content with using the fiction method. That's not to say I'm choosing to delude myself or pretend to live in a fictional world, no; it just offers me a short break from the pains and sadness of my reality, that ends the moment I close the book, like sleeping off a bad headache or cold and feeling a little better in the morning.

While this isn't exactly one of my methods of recovery, I find that after a bad break-up I tend to eat more of anything bad for, me more often (never sweets though, ew). It doesn't really help, but it happens.

Apr. 18th, 2010


Learning From Commercials

Is it bad that I've seen that Windows 7 commercial with the woman speaking French enough times that I'm beginning to understand her? It was on just a moment ago, and I was looking at the computer; but as I listened to it, I could visualize it, and could actually understand what she was saying for parts of it. Pretty sad when one learns some recognition of a spoken language via commercials.

Exasperated Sigh

I'm so tired of writing! I'm easily distracted, and I feel like I'm getting nowhere, even though it's just a summary. I started this morning, but via numerous distractions, I've been left with only 1,458 words written; that's nothing, and I'm not even past the beginning. Is this how all writers feel when they want to convey something, but the process of doing so takes longer than expected?

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